Proposal Essay Workshop for itsaKarmathing.blogspot.com

Proposal Essay Workshop for itsakarmathing.blogspot.com
Flex work time

Thesis:

1. Restate the thesis in your own words. If the thesis is a question and not an assertion, make it an assertion. Make sure the words “although” and "because" are in it.

Although the Fairbanks North Star Borough has regular business hours from 8:00-5:00, it should allow it’s employees the opportunity to work flexible schedules because this will allow the employees to better serve their work and their home lives, would cut down on absenteeism due to other commitments which take away from work time, employees would have better attitudes towards their work and their co-workers, and would increase their work production.

2. Does the thesis propose a solution to a problem stated in the introductory paragraph (it should!)? Is it at the end of the first paragraph?

Yes it does-Employees with their department managers approval, would be able to choose their own work hours within the guidelines set by the FNSB.

The thesis is the first paragraph and the solution is either in the same paragraph or starts in the next. Might be how I copied the essay into my word document.

3. The thesis should follow this very basic formula: " X should do Y b/c of A, B, and C.” Does it?

Yes, the thesis follows the set formula. (X) The Fairbanks North Star Borough should (Y) allow for flexible work hours because employees who area better able to balance home life with work responsibilities, (A) have less absenteeism, (B) better attitudes towards their co-workers and (C) an increase in work production.

Reasons:

List below the author's reasons for holding his or her position. Are they listed in the thesis, or in the body of the paper? They should be listed in the thesis, and expanded upon in the body of the paper.

1. Better attitudes, 2. Less absenteeism, 3. More productivity in their work
Yes, the author lists the reasons in the thesis and expands on them in the body of the paper such as able to handle family responsibilities better, able to take care of daycare problems, attending college classes. She also has interesting point from Fortune 500 companies.

Audience:

Who is the author's audience? It should be the Sun Star readers. Do they already agree with the author, or is the author writing to the opposition? How can you tell? Give specific examples.

Well, I think the audience would have to be the Borough employees, the Borough Assembly and the Borough Mayor. This could also be a paper geared toward employees of the University and other government entities.

Counterargument: List the counterarguments (arguments of the author’s oppositions) used in the paper (there should be at least three). Does the author adequately address these arguments? Do you think there are other arguments that could be addressed? Do you see any logical fallacies?
1. Parents can relax and be more focused on work.
2. Being able to attend college courses improves employee’s attitudes and self esteem.
3. Un-fulfilled employees=disgruntles employees=customers and fellow employees who see the brunt of the attitudes.
4. The FNSB cold even extend its business hours to accommodate those who need to be seen after normal 8-5 business hours.

As for counterarguments I would have to say:
1. The Borough Assembly would have to approve the new longer hours.
2. The Borough would have to pay more for security after normal hours, more for heat and electricity
3. There are chronic “problem” public who would come into the Borough building
4. Many of the Boroughs employees are Union members-how would this fit into their agreement?
5. Staffing may have to be more to cover during the day when most business happens.
6. It could be a nightmare for timekeepers and payroll to input all of the various shifts and hours worked.
7.




Title:

Does the paper have an interesting title? If not, help author come up with one.

No-I didn’t see one. How about “A flexed employee is a happy employee?”

Introduction:

Is there a catchy lead sentence? What is it? If there isn't one, what would you...

I didn’t really see a catchy lead sentence. The paper starts off with the thesis statement. I think the conclusion could be a good lead sentence “Everyone benefits from a flexible work schedule-A happy employee means a happy employer and a happy public” or something to that effect.

That’s all the questions I had from the Assignment section.